Ten tips to extracting the truth from a prisoner:
1.) Silence is more an option than violence. Place a chair infront of him and sit on it then stare the idiot full in the face. Say nothing but stare. Waver not yor gaze from his terrified own. Remain calm and just stare. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. If it doesn't loosen his tongue by creepin him out see number 2.
2.) Shed tears. For you are about to commit atrocities against the idiot. Weep as if yor at gunpoint and weep again. Let the idiot see you weep. If it doesn't work...
3.) Start talking. Tell the idiot costly lies. If he's christiann tell him there's on heaven, only hell. If he believes in anything else, say wotever he believed in has abandoned him. Make him lose his confidence
4.) Attack!!! Start with a comb. If you haven't learnt to shave a head with a comb then learn today. Scrape his scalp out of his head with the comb. Not working?
5.) Attack!!! Use a pen this time. All you have to do is trace a line around his wrist. He'll freak out. See. Cos you wanna cut off his hand
6.) Attack!!! A knife. Trace it around the line around the wrist very slowly. Then let him go. You didn't cut his hands. You only got rid of the line from the pen. But blindfolded. He might think he's one hand short. Still didn't work?
7.) Now cut off his hand!!!
8.) Repeat 1 to 7 until his other hand is cut off.
9.) The ultimate rule. Try being a cannibal. If you haven't eaten raw human flesh before go and learn. Eat both of his hands in his face. This would unnerve him at once. You will certainly win. If he still doesn't tell you....
10.) Lick yor lips deliciously. You are about to eat his thigh....
(c) La Tortura extraordinaire. 1628
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