i find it very funny to tell you that there are only 6 possible ways you might die nowadays. if you dont want to die before you reach the age of 40 i would solemnly advise you to flee from this message. once you read the first option, you have sealed a covenant that can never be broken and you shall die before 40. SCARED?! HAHA. of course am joking but you never know. you might as well die before 40.
1. THE FIRST OPTION: out of 100% this has 30. it is also the second most painful. this is death as a result from a blow on your head. 30% of those reading this right now will be struck on the head before 40. the possible situations in which you can get struck on the head are numerous. eg. A nasty football match, a nasty fight, a nasty accident possibly in a car, in your slippery bathroom, at the shopping mall or at your austere school. since you are warned i suggest you destroy anybody or thing that is capable of hitting you on the head. destroy them now, or suffer.
2 OPTION TWO: out of 100% this only has 5%. it is death by stabbing. of course there are so many places you can get stabbed. if you wish to see an experiment i can invite you to my house and you can see a live dog being stabbed in several places. its quite entertaining. you can also see the photos of those people who have been stabbed. their expressions are most horrible. this is the most painful and also bloody. you will certainly be stabbed at least once before you clock 40. i pray you die from the first stab...the next instance of piercing isn't always pleasant, you will die the most horrible death. always carry a gun to counter this type of death, shoot anybody carrying a knife or handling anything pointed. of course this brings me to the next option.
3. OPTION THREE: 40% of 100 will face this death. its is quite an interesting death because the speed at which you die depends on where you are hit. it is called death by gunshot. BLAM! in our modern society you can be shot at anywhere and anytime. you can be walking on the street, you can be in the toilet, you can be sleeping in your room, you can be hiding in a bush, you can even be guarding a president, next second you
are on the ground, either dead or about to die. this is the third most painful and also the least horrible. you see when you get shot, nobody except yor family is disgusted, yor just another BOSS in an action movie. most people prefer this death best and sadly there is no counter, BLAM! U are warned!
4. OPTION FOUR: HA! sweet. this is the kinda death that the jigsaw killer guy in SAW would revel in. MUTILATION, BEHEADING, SEVERING OF BODY. CUTTING OF FLESH! sweet! sadly only 10% of 100 gets involved but you never know, you might make it 11%. this death occurs when your body gets either cut in half, in quarter, or in pieces, anyway yor not whole anymore and yor so bloody. i cant grade its pain level because the victims rarely scream. maybe you should let me do an experiment on you then you can gimme accurate statistics. anyways, accidents rarely cause this (except plane or car crashes) so I'd suggest you don't stumble upon evil people. they rarely have mercy. the only counter you have is your prayer book and holding it to your chest only annoys them besides i already prophesied it so there's no escaping. you will die most horribly.
5. OPTION FIVE: 10% of 100 meet their end this way. it is the least painful except if you are unlucky to have a large amount and it is also less entertaining. 10% of those reading this will die from POISONING. yes! poison is quite harmful to your body and you face all sort of things before you die. possible ways you might get poisoned include: living in a slum, moving with odious people, marrying a flea bitten jealous wife or husband or swallowing poison yourself. of course, poison is often self induced thats why i said its less entertaining. by self induced i mean its your fault. its your fault for living in a slum. its your fault for moving with idiots, its your fault for cheating on your spouse and its your fault for ending your own life. nevertheless you will definitely get poisoned before you reach 40 years old. death by poison is the only recoverable one there.
6. OPTION SIX AND LAST: I placed this option last because it is the last way anybody would think of dying. its also the last option any suicidal person would go for but although only 5% of people meet their end this way, it is by far the most entertaining. option six is death by BURNING! the most entertaining part of being burnt to death is that people enjoy it even those its far more disgusting. this death is a result of being careless. eg. careless handling of fire, careless handling of electricity and careless approach to stealing. this last option makes it more entertaining cos it befalls careless thieves. burnt people usually smell of roast bacon and usually even the victims eat themselves. i recommend this death of all of them. bye.
