i find it very funny to tell you that there are only 6 possible ways you might die nowadays. if you dont want to die before you reach the age of 40 i would solemnly advise you to flee from this message. once you read the first option, you have sealed a covenant that can never be broken and you shall die before 40. SCARED?! HAHA. of course am joking but you never know. you might as well die before 40.
1. THE FIRST OPTION: out of 100% this has 30. it is also the second most painful. this is death as a result from a blow on your head. 30% of those reading this right now will be struck on the head before 40. the possible situations in which you can get struck on the head are numerous. eg. A nasty football match, a nasty fight, a nasty accident possibly in a car, in your slippery bathroom, at the shopping mall or at your austere school. since you are warned i suggest you destroy anybody or thing that is capable of hitting you on the head. destroy them now, or suffer.
2 OPTION TWO: out of 100% this only has 5%. it is death by stabbing. of course there are so many places you can get stabbed. if you wish to see an experiment i can invite you to my house and you can see a live dog being stabbed in several places. its quite entertaining. you can also see the photos of those people who have been stabbed. their expressions are most horrible. this is the most painful and also bloody. you will certainly be stabbed at least once before you clock 40. i pray you die from the first stab...the next instance of piercing isn't always pleasant, you will die the most horrible death. always carry a gun to counter this type of death, shoot anybody carrying a knife or handling anything pointed. of course this brings me to the next option.
3. OPTION THREE: 40% of 100 will face this death. its is quite an interesting death because the speed at which you die depends on where you are hit. it is called death by gunshot. BLAM! in our modern society you can be shot at anywhere and anytime. you can be walking on the street, you can be in the toilet, you can be sleeping in your room, you can be hiding in a bush, you can even be guarding a president, next second you
are on the ground, either dead or about to die. this is the third most painful and also the least horrible. you see when you get shot, nobody except yor family is disgusted, yor just another BOSS in an action movie. most people prefer this death best and sadly there is no counter, BLAM! U are warned!
4. OPTION FOUR: HA! sweet. this is the kinda death that the jigsaw killer guy in SAW would revel in. MUTILATION, BEHEADING, SEVERING OF BODY. CUTTING OF FLESH! sweet! sadly only 10% of 100 gets involved but you never know, you might make it 11%. this death occurs when your body gets either cut in half, in quarter, or in pieces, anyway yor not whole anymore and yor so bloody. i cant grade its pain level because the victims rarely scream. maybe you should let me do an experiment on you then you can gimme accurate statistics. anyways, accidents rarely cause this (except plane or car crashes) so I'd suggest you don't stumble upon evil people. they rarely have mercy. the only counter you have is your prayer book and holding it to your chest only annoys them besides i already prophesied it so there's no escaping. you will die most horribly.
5. OPTION FIVE: 10% of 100 meet their end this way. it is the least painful except if you are unlucky to have a large amount and it is also less entertaining. 10% of those reading this will die from POISONING. yes! poison is quite harmful to your body and you face all sort of things before you die. possible ways you might get poisoned include: living in a slum, moving with odious people, marrying a flea bitten jealous wife or husband or swallowing poison yourself. of course, poison is often self induced thats why i said its less entertaining. by self induced i mean its your fault. its your fault for living in a slum. its your fault for moving with idiots, its your fault for cheating on your spouse and its your fault for ending your own life. nevertheless you will definitely get poisoned before you reach 40 years old. death by poison is the only recoverable one there.
6. OPTION SIX AND LAST: I placed this option last because it is the last way anybody would think of dying. its also the last option any suicidal person would go for but although only 5% of people meet their end this way, it is by far the most entertaining. option six is death by BURNING! the most entertaining part of being burnt to death is that people enjoy it even those its far more disgusting. this death is a result of being careless. eg. careless handling of fire, careless handling of electricity and careless approach to stealing. this last option makes it more entertaining cos it befalls careless thieves. burnt people usually smell of roast bacon and usually even the victims eat themselves. i recommend this death of all of them. bye.
WaryWatcher's Blog
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
saturday my day
today is a saturday. hmmm. my comic book #code88 is starting today. its still in its pencilling process thus its not yet finished. am going to draw for the rest of today after which i will work on photoshop a bit.
holla at yor boy if you got my number or contact my email.
CODE88: after an assassination attempt goes wrong, a war begins between the best experts in the field. request yor files anytime.
warywatchr@gmail.com
holla at yor boy if you got my number or contact my email.
CODE88: after an assassination attempt goes wrong, a war begins between the best experts in the field. request yor files anytime.
warywatchr@gmail.com
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Ten Tips to terrible torture
Ten tips to extracting the truth from a prisoner:
1.) Silence is more an option than violence. Place a chair infront of him and sit on it then stare the idiot full in the face. Say nothing but stare. Waver not yor gaze from his terrified own. Remain calm and just stare. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. If it doesn't loosen his tongue by creepin him out see number 2.
2.) Shed tears. For you are about to commit atrocities against the idiot. Weep as if yor at gunpoint and weep again. Let the idiot see you weep. If it doesn't work...
3.) Start talking. Tell the idiot costly lies. If he's christiann tell him there's on heaven, only hell. If he believes in anything else, say wotever he believed in has abandoned him. Make him lose his confidence
4.) Attack!!! Start with a comb. If you haven't learnt to shave a head with a comb then learn today. Scrape his scalp out of his head with the comb. Not working?
5.) Attack!!! Use a pen this time. All you have to do is trace a line around his wrist. He'll freak out. See. Cos you wanna cut off his hand
6.) Attack!!! A knife. Trace it around the line around the wrist very slowly. Then let him go. You didn't cut his hands. You only got rid of the line from the pen. But blindfolded. He might think he's one hand short. Still didn't work?
7.) Now cut off his hand!!!
8.) Repeat 1 to 7 until his other hand is cut off.
9.) The ultimate rule. Try being a cannibal. If you haven't eaten raw human flesh before go and learn. Eat both of his hands in his face. This would unnerve him at once. You will certainly win. If he still doesn't tell you....
10.) Lick yor lips deliciously. You are about to eat his thigh....
(c) La Tortura extraordinaire. 1628
1.) Silence is more an option than violence. Place a chair infront of him and sit on it then stare the idiot full in the face. Say nothing but stare. Waver not yor gaze from his terrified own. Remain calm and just stare. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. If it doesn't loosen his tongue by creepin him out see number 2.
2.) Shed tears. For you are about to commit atrocities against the idiot. Weep as if yor at gunpoint and weep again. Let the idiot see you weep. If it doesn't work...
3.) Start talking. Tell the idiot costly lies. If he's christiann tell him there's on heaven, only hell. If he believes in anything else, say wotever he believed in has abandoned him. Make him lose his confidence
4.) Attack!!! Start with a comb. If you haven't learnt to shave a head with a comb then learn today. Scrape his scalp out of his head with the comb. Not working?
5.) Attack!!! Use a pen this time. All you have to do is trace a line around his wrist. He'll freak out. See. Cos you wanna cut off his hand
6.) Attack!!! A knife. Trace it around the line around the wrist very slowly. Then let him go. You didn't cut his hands. You only got rid of the line from the pen. But blindfolded. He might think he's one hand short. Still didn't work?
7.) Now cut off his hand!!!
8.) Repeat 1 to 7 until his other hand is cut off.
9.) The ultimate rule. Try being a cannibal. If you haven't eaten raw human flesh before go and learn. Eat both of his hands in his face. This would unnerve him at once. You will certainly win. If he still doesn't tell you....
10.) Lick yor lips deliciously. You are about to eat his thigh....
(c) La Tortura extraordinaire. 1628
GRIM RECOLLECTIONS
Little Jonathan loved the bedtime stories best,
He loved to hear dad tell the story of the snowy Hare's arrest,
and always ever squealed with joy whenever dad told of the moon, the stars-
and all the rest.
Dad's stories made him travel to the Dragon's nest
and made him a Court fool who at the king always jests-
and acts the pest-.
Oh My!!!
Little was Jonathan prepared,
that fateful winter,
when dad arrived late to his bed.
Little jonathan had waited for so long for his dad-
a dad he so revered.
He had slept so late on his bed,
an open book beside him lay which earlier he had referred.
Dad's heart was broken and severed.
He stood by Johnny's bed and declared
"am home"
But Johnny did not budge.
He kept sleeping and dad took away George
-Jonathan's Budgie-
and went to his own lodge.
Dad slept on his own bed and was terribly sad.
He felt so mad and sorry and bad.
If only Jonathan would listen,
listen to dad's reason,
for coming late,
and know that Dad almost went to prison,
for overspeeding.
Dad had been late at work,
but he knew Johnny was needing
-him-
Dad drove really fast (overspeeding)
and trying not to hit another car also speeding,
veering into a deep river hidden.
Dad's car sank, in it he had ridden,
now in it he was bleeding.
He could not live but he had to,
because he knew Jonathan was needing.
Dad escaped and now he was home.
But Johnny wouldn't listen,
listen to dad's reason.
The next morning johnny was reading,
when dad arrived at the kitchen.
Dad was surprised johnny didn't greet him.
Jonathan didn't even see him.
Johnny was reading a newspaper incident
about a terrible car accident.
Jonathan began to cry.
Johnny read that his dad through that accident did die.
Dad told him he was alive,
that he was by his side.
But johnny ignored him and went on to cry.
Johnny did not see him, nor could he hear dad.
He cried,
he sighed,
he wished dad hadn't died.
Soon strange people came to take little johnny away.
Dad could not fight,
dad could not stop them. They took lil johnny away.
Dad never saw jonathan again.
He loved to hear dad tell the story of the snowy Hare's arrest,
and always ever squealed with joy whenever dad told of the moon, the stars-
and all the rest.
Dad's stories made him travel to the Dragon's nest
and made him a Court fool who at the king always jests-
and acts the pest-.
Oh My!!!
Little was Jonathan prepared,
that fateful winter,
when dad arrived late to his bed.
Little jonathan had waited for so long for his dad-
a dad he so revered.
He had slept so late on his bed,
an open book beside him lay which earlier he had referred.
Dad's heart was broken and severed.
He stood by Johnny's bed and declared
"am home"
But Johnny did not budge.
He kept sleeping and dad took away George
-Jonathan's Budgie-
and went to his own lodge.
Dad slept on his own bed and was terribly sad.
He felt so mad and sorry and bad.
If only Jonathan would listen,
listen to dad's reason,
for coming late,
and know that Dad almost went to prison,
for overspeeding.
Dad had been late at work,
but he knew Johnny was needing
-him-
Dad drove really fast (overspeeding)
and trying not to hit another car also speeding,
veering into a deep river hidden.
Dad's car sank, in it he had ridden,
now in it he was bleeding.
He could not live but he had to,
because he knew Jonathan was needing.
Dad escaped and now he was home.
But Johnny wouldn't listen,
listen to dad's reason.
The next morning johnny was reading,
when dad arrived at the kitchen.
Dad was surprised johnny didn't greet him.
Jonathan didn't even see him.
Johnny was reading a newspaper incident
about a terrible car accident.
Jonathan began to cry.
Johnny read that his dad through that accident did die.
Dad told him he was alive,
that he was by his side.
But johnny ignored him and went on to cry.
Johnny did not see him, nor could he hear dad.
He cried,
he sighed,
he wished dad hadn't died.
Soon strange people came to take little johnny away.
Dad could not fight,
dad could not stop them. They took lil johnny away.
Dad never saw jonathan again.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
My secret place
There is a secret place i found
-now i own-
where everything that dwells within is round
-round and grown-
-and fat-.
I want to take you to that place,
to show you everythin in just one gaze,
to lead you through the trees
-feel the breeze-
walk through the stream
-in a fishing spree-
and sit beneath the stars and dream
of all you can ever get.
I shall take you there
my "spicy" little dear
dont ask me where
as long as i take you there.
Our chauffeur shall be a tiny bird
who would not mind what we do
as long as he's dead,
ignored,
and not there.
Well he actually isn't really
what am i but silly
because there is no guide
nor watcher
who may see us hide
amongst the bushes
and make love.
My secret place is neither a garden,
nor is it a forest.
But it has trees and all thats padding,
like deer, moose, and oswald McFadden.
In my secret place it is only you
-not me-
not the others trying to hate.
Not even anyone you can relate.
Just you.
But you shall find me there.
My "spicy" little dear,
in everything you see
or touch or breathe.
I shall whisper
-like this-
and we shall be so close...
If only you come with me
...so close...
To my secret little place
...oh so close...
We are past those days,
when poetry and empty promises
are all that gentlemen say.
Am a modern gentleman
and in my secret little place
there are cars to settle on,
speedboats through the waters
and steamrollers to crush our haters.
In my secret little place,
you wont get all you need
but those you do get,
would be all you ever need.
-now i own-
where everything that dwells within is round
-round and grown-
-and fat-.
I want to take you to that place,
to show you everythin in just one gaze,
to lead you through the trees
-feel the breeze-
walk through the stream
-in a fishing spree-
and sit beneath the stars and dream
of all you can ever get.
I shall take you there
my "spicy" little dear
dont ask me where
as long as i take you there.
Our chauffeur shall be a tiny bird
who would not mind what we do
as long as he's dead,
ignored,
and not there.
Well he actually isn't really
what am i but silly
because there is no guide
nor watcher
who may see us hide
amongst the bushes
and make love.
My secret place is neither a garden,
nor is it a forest.
But it has trees and all thats padding,
like deer, moose, and oswald McFadden.
In my secret place it is only you
-not me-
not the others trying to hate.
Not even anyone you can relate.
Just you.
But you shall find me there.
My "spicy" little dear,
in everything you see
or touch or breathe.
I shall whisper
-like this-
and we shall be so close...
If only you come with me
...so close...
To my secret little place
...oh so close...
We are past those days,
when poetry and empty promises
are all that gentlemen say.
Am a modern gentleman
and in my secret little place
there are cars to settle on,
speedboats through the waters
and steamrollers to crush our haters.
In my secret little place,
you wont get all you need
but those you do get,
would be all you ever need.
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